


Miedo y Valentía

by Awkwardly_social



Series: Klance Klance, we're falling apart to half time [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5+1 Things, Acrophobia, Blood, Cuddling, Cute, Death, Gore, Keith finally cradles lance, Keith is learning to be a good leader, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong, Nightmares, Pre-Relationship, Sweet, descriptions of death, falling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-01-05 05:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12183690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkwardly_social/pseuds/Awkwardly_social
Summary: If somebody were to ask Lance Sanchez what he was afraid of, he would almost certainly reply with a claim of ‘absolutely nothing.’He would, of course, be lying.Otherwise known as '5 times Keith helped Lance through his fears and one time Lance did it all by himself.'





	1. Acrophobia

If somebody were to ask Lance Sanchez what he was afraid of, he would almost certainly reply with a claim of ‘absolutely nothing.’ He would, of course, be lying. Lance was scared of many things, some irrational, and others not. It may have been childish to still be uncomfortable around his grandmother’s ancient cat, (no cat should have been that old and that angry,) but his caution around the man preaching the sins of homosexuality on a street corner back in Cuba were justified.

He preferred to keep his fears to himself though, especially after becoming a pilot of Voltron. Lance had often gazed around the common room from his seat in a corner of a couch. His teammates were all doing their own things in the rare downtime after Shiro disappeared, but his absence didn’t suddenly make him blind though. He still saw the tension in their shoulders and the hard look in their eyes that never really faded, even when their bones were set and the blood washed away. They were just as weary and afraid as he was, no need to burden them further.

Even so, if Lance were to talk about his fears, most people would think he would go to Hunk, or maybe Coran. The last person he himself expected it to be was Keith, but Lance had his expectations completely shattered before. Of course, like most things that had gone wrong in Lance’s life lately, it happened on a mission. It wasn’t a diplomatic mission, just a trip to gather alien flower Coran needed. It meant there were no civilians or nobles to protect like there usually was, a small blessing when the Galran sentries crashed their ‘simple’ mission for an ‘absolutely necessary’ plant, splitting up the team. They seemed to appear out of nowhere, surrounding the team as they faded in from the forest.

“RUN!”

Lance sprinted along the forest floors at Keith’s orders, lamenting the lack of time he’d had to admire the blue shrubs and purple treetops as he focused on the back of Keith’s helmet. A bead of sweat dripped into his eye, and he blinked rapidly, casting a glance backwards to look for enemies. Sure enough, the sentries were still following. They were further back than before, but still close enough that Lance felt the heat of their bullets whizzing past him. He dodged the best he could, stumbling when a shot landed in the center of his back. A jolt of confusion passed through him when the expected burn never arrived. Some numbers flashed on his visor however, and the little Altean he’d managed to pick up was both a blessing and a curse. His jetpack was at zero percent efficiency. 

Lance called out to Keith, words strained as his lungs heaved. “We’re not losing them! We’re going to have to fight them!”

Keith didn’t turn back, but he barked a rough “Follow me.” If Lance hadn’t been running for his life at that point he might have questioned the new leader, but he didn’t have time to think then, only act. He burst into a clearing after Keith, heart pounding. A quick look showed that the entrance was enclosed by two large trees, the rest surrounded by tall rocks with a, as Lance later retold, massive fucking tree in the middle. One way in, one way out.

“We can bottleneck them here and control how many we have to take on at once.” Keith activated his bayard, taking a fighting stance just inside of the arch. “Lance, take high ground. You’ll be more effective as support if you can pick off the ones I miss.”

Lance nodded, turning towards the tree in the center and sprinting. It was built like an earth tree, but the bark was sharp and covered in blue viscous oil.  The branches were as wide as himself, so at least he would have a solid place to aim from. Lance scaled it quickly without a thought, positioning himself in a down a limb pointed toward Keith and switched his bayard to a sniper. He steadied himself as the pounding sounded from the distance, closing his eye and aiming at the entrance over Keith’s head. The first flash of silver met Lance’s bullet and fell with an anticlimactic clank. The battle had begun.

Fighting was a strange experience for Lance. It was stressful, deadly, and terrifying, but it was also one of the few things that let him reach that strange calm of hyper focus. All he felt was the trigger under his finger, taking down one bot after another that slipped past Keith’s whirlwind blade without conscious thought. He could work well with the others like this, but he was best paired with Keith despite how it made something in his chest clench. Lance hadn’t identified that feeling yet, but after Shiro disappeared he and Keith had become a seamless team out of necessity.

Eventually the horde dwindled and were eliminated as they piled on top of one another. The adrenaline faded, and Lance managed to come back to reality, deactivating his Bayard and fusing it back to his suit.

"I think that was the last of them. Go ahead and come down Lance!” Keith walked forward to stand under Lance’s branch, hands on his hips as he waited. Unfortunately for Lance, looking at Keith meant looking down, and he felt fear edge over his mind as he took in how far from the ground he was.

To fully understand Lance’s fear of heights in contrast with how easily he climbed trees, an explanation is perhaps needed. Having a lot of younger siblings meant when somebody got stuck in a tree, Lance had to go get them. Until the age of fourteen it had never bothered him. They had a young Cuban dragon tree so it was never too tall, and it was almost effortless to scamper up and piggyback the little ones down. His little sister Maria was the worst of the kids though, hands down being carried more often than the others. Lance never really minded though, it just meant she was adventurous.

The tree in America had been a whole other story. Lance loved visiting relatives in America. Not only did it give him a chance to practice his English with cousins who didn’t know Spanish, but America was such a cool place. The past few years Maria had been too small to climb, but that day she wasn’t, and somehow, she got the idea to climb the willow. The tree dwarfed Lance’s back home, but when Maria started crying he didn’t question the height.

Lance had scampered up like the nickname his mom had given him, Ardella. He shimmied to the middle of the branch, pulling Maria to his chest and prompting her to wrap her arms and legs around him like he always had. He wrapped one arm around her back to steady her, then the wood creaked ominously. The branch snapped and Lance was falling twenty feet to the ground below.

The doctors told him later he’d fallen on his back, cradling his sister from any harm other than a bit of shock. He was lucky not to be dead, having cracked two vertebrae but avoiding damaging the nerves in his spinal cord. Lance didn’t climb trees after that.

Lance pulled himself from the memories and took a breath. He could do it. He wasn’t going to fall. He wasn’t fourteen anymore. He gathered his courage together and hoisted himself up onto his hands and knees. The oil from the tree had covered the hard plates of his suit though, and Lance’s world turned as he slipped on the branch, armor protecting his legs, but not his hands from the sharp bark that tore through his gloves with the friction. Lance yelped and scrambled for purchase, hooking his hands as well as he could when his feet were dangling. He would be pissed about his jetpack if he wasn’t terrified.

“Lance!” Keith called out from underneath him, and all the bravery Lance had summoned fled.

Lance felt like he was going to cry; it was Maria all over. “I can’t get back up, but I also really don’t want to fall a fuckton of feet. What do I do?”

Keith was silent for a moment. “Fall. I’ll catch you.”

“What?!” Lance whimpered a little as his skin tore more, the blood only causing him to slip another inch, his grip failing. His arms began to shake.

“Trust me. I promise I’ll catch you Lance. We’re a team, you have to be able to trust me.”

Lance didn’t have time to think about Keith’s words. The oil had built up enough that he knew he was going to fall soon, so Lance let go. The air left his lungs as the branch got smaller and his heart stuttered. The rush in his head wasn’t the fun kind, it was the fear when the water kept rising, the fire kept burning, and the earth shook beneath you when you there was nowhere else to go. Lance felt Keith catch him, arms wrapping under his shoulders and his knees as Lance’s hands gripped the back of Keith’s suit around the red paladin’s neck, knuckles probably turning white with strain. The first hit forced his neck to rock forward awkwardly, and as Keith’s knees hit the ground with the effort to catch him Lance whimpered.

Lance took a breath as the realization that Keith caught him sunk in. He started to laugh a bit hysterically, grinning as he considered purple eyes. “You caught me. I’m not dead. You saved me mullet. Ha ha…. Oh, my holy fucking godjesuschrist.” The joy of not being dead wore off towards the end of his rant and he lowered his gaze, dread settling into the pit of his stomach. He could have died. He nearly did die. 

Lance’s voice was thin and warbled. “Please put me down.”

“Oh, shoot, right.” Keith lowered him down gently to sit against the tree trunk, pausing as he tried to stand back up. “Um, Lance? You have to let go of my suit.”

Lance tried to release his grip, but his fingers wouldn’t cooperate. “I-I can’t. Keith, I can’t move my hands.” What if he had gotten hurt from the fall? He’d heard of people losing the ability to move their hands and fingers if they damaged their nerves.

Keith must have heard his panic though, because the tone of voice he used wasn’t something Lance would have expected from the ‘hot head’ former red paladin. It was calm and soothing. “Lance, you’re going to be okay, alright? Your body is just reacting to the fact that you fell, what was it, ‘a fuckton’ of feet? You’re not going into shock, I think, but you are a bit freaked out. That's perfectly understandable. You’ll be okay though, I caught you. Nothing is broken, at least not physically.”

Logically he knew Keith was right, but the more instinctual side of his mind refused to cooperate. Keith didn’t seem mad by the lack of change though, he just stretched his hands behind himself, running his fingers from Lance’s elbows down to just before the underside of his wrist. He massaged the tendons there quietly.

Keith’s movements were strong, but gentle all the while. Lance found himself turning a little red at the intimate gesture, and that crushing feeling in his chest returned. It was working though and his death grip began to loosen, so he let Keith continue despite the internal turmoil. Eventually his hands unclenched and he pulled them to his chest.

Keith hissed, “Quiznak, Lance.” Keith began pulling bandages from a small compartment in his armor as Lance looked down at his palms.

“Oh.” His hands throbbed as he took note of the torn skin and pooling blood. It looked like he’d gone eighty miles an hour over blacktop, the skin scraped up and raw, and the excess tree oil wasn’t helping. He let Keith bandage his hands quickly, but still gentle as he cleaned off the blood and fluid. It was done efficiently and the spare wrappings were tucked back away.

“We should probably go find the others.” Keith broke the strange mood that had settled over them and they began to leave the clearing. Lance followed, nearly bumping into Keith’s back when he suddenly stopped though. “Hey, Lance.”

Lance looked up from his hands and Keith laid his hand on Lance’s shoulder in a rather Shiro-esque manner.

“Don’t act so surprised when I catch you next time.”

Lance cocked his head to the side. “Why’s that?”

“Because I’ll always catch you.”

 


	2. Atychiphobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter has graphic depictions of violence and death

When Lance was younger, the idea of fighting in something like the X-men’s danger room was the coolest thing ever, but as a stray laser clipped his helmet it lost some of its sparkly childhood appeal. Lance ducked under another shot, grimacing at the singed smell and scanning the room to taking down another simulated Galra droid with a well placed shot. He turned around and continued to shuffle the citizens into his lion, covering them with his own body while Hunk and Pidge moved people into their own lions. Shiro and Allura continued to literally cut down the waves of droids that didn’t seem to stop. Lance knew they quite literally wouldn’t.

Lance smiled as the last of the lines shuffled into the lions and moved to run to his seat when a cry sounded from behind him. One of the children had tripped, and they cried on their hands and knees as a galra droid approached aiming its blaster.

“No!” Lance burst forward with a speed that seemed foreign, but the sound of the gun seemed to deafen him as it went off. Lance shot the droid at point-blank, but it didn't matter when he looked down. Nothing else registered but a gaping hole between two green, fear wide eyes of a child and the steady pool of blue spreading around Lance’s shoes.  

Lance’s knees hit the floor and the illusion flickered out of existence as he heaved onto the ground beneath him barely managing to rip his helmet of in time, the burning in his throat bringing tears to his eyes. A hand came to rest on the back of his neck, large but gentle.

“Hey, it’s okay buddy, let it out.”

Lance was never more grateful for Hunk as a best friend as he stood up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and accepting the offered hydration pouch. He was still shaking when Hunk walked him towards the group with a hand on his shoulder where they had gathered by the doors. Lance didn’t feel as bad about his reaction when upon closer inspection he saw the paler, similarly shocked faces of the team.

Coran cleared his throat, “Paladins, for a first time you did excellently. I commend you, but also,” his face changes to something akin to sadness, something the speaks of experience born of suffering, “as much as I hate it, the example you witnessed today is something that one day will happen. These simulations are used to train you just as much as they are to desensitize you. You can’t always save everyone.”

Lance frowned, and something inside of him that woke when his mind touched Blue’s screamed, “the hell I can’t.”

* * *

 

Despite the simulation being set for one person it was still insanely difficult. Sweat was dripping down Lance’s neck as he ran up and down the line of various aliens trying to protect them while pushing back the line of droids surfacing in waves. He took a sweeping view of the ‘battle,’ and as the tail end of the line reached a familiar point Lance ran.

In a movement that was practically muscle memory from catching his siblings Lance caught the child before it could hit the ground and scooped it up onto his hip. Joy pushed at his ribs as he turned to move the rest of the line, and then the screaming started. Lance couldn’t move as the people were mowed down and slaughtered by the droids that had advanced.

He would be ashamed of it later, but Lance froze, the kid crying in his arms as a too realistic spatter of blood streaked across his visor.

“St-stop.” His voice was small, barely audible over his own heartbeat. Lance felt himself shaking as the droids started moving into the red lion. “Stop it, please.” A stray bullet caught Lance in the chest, stealing his breath, and he screamed as the body in his arms went limp. “STOP IT, STOP IT! END SIMULATION, PLEASE.”

Once again, the trading planet disappeared from Lance’s vision, and the reason for his shaking changed. Lance wasn’t shocked anymore. He was pissed.

"God DAMMIT!” He threw his helmet across the room, denting the wall. His shoulder burned, but it wasn’t enough to settle the burning behind his eyes. His chest heaved in breaths that bordered on painful. An idea lit up his mind, and Lance called out the ceiling. “Simulation room: single sword droid opponent, level ten, galra droid skin. Begin upon statement “Begin.” 

Lance took a moment as the droid faded in, standing frozen at the center of the room in the standard ‘off’ pose. They didn’t seem as threatening when they were slumped over with their lights out, but Lance had watched aliens, whether they were real or not be slaughtered because of them. No, because of him. Because he hadn’t protected them. Because he had failed.

Lance summoned his bayard, a moment’s thought changing it to the broadsword, its most recent form. Keith had always said fighting droids helped him relax, maybe using a sword was why. He took a wide stance like Allura had taught him.

“Begin.”

The droid creaked to life, its sword detaching from its thigh in a parody of the bayards. It stood still, and without warning shot forward, almost taking Lance’s head off as he struggled to block. The pattern of blocking, swinging, dodging faded into the background, and Lance tried to focus on what was driving him: rage. Pain that once would have slowed him down only made him angrier, the little bruises made him swing harder, and the nicks made him swing faster.

Lance saw his opening as one of the arms of the droid sparked, the limb falling limp where it held its weapon. He screamed, pushing out the feelings as his blade sunk through the bots shoulder clean through its torso and out from the hip.

“Holy shit, Lance.”

Lance jumped, calling out quickly for the simulation to end and he turned to the voice. Keith stood near the entrance of the room, his jaw dropped, sword brushing the floor where it hung loose in his grasp. Lance wasn’t angry anymore. Where the heat and rage had been was gone and cold dread was left in its place, and he couldn’t bring himself to care when a few tears ran down his face. He choked out a small apology as he moved to walk past Keith and go back to his room, a hand pressed over his eyes.

“Whoa, Whoa, wait up!” A hand gripped Lance’s shoulder, and even though his vision was blurry he could tell Keith’s expression was one of concern. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Once he stopped moving all of Lance’s energy seemed to die, and he put his back to the wall, sliding down to wrap his arms around his legs and lay his head on his knees, turned away from Keith. He heard Keith sit beside him, silent for a moment before a hand settled on his head, hesitant at first, and then more confidently patting him gently.  

Realization dawned on Lance, and he starting to giggle. “Are you,” a small laugh escaped him, “are you patting my head to comfort me?”

The hand snatched away, and Lance let out a dramatic, “noooo” as he flopped toward Keith. He misjudged the distance though and landed with his head in Keith’s lap where his legs were stretched out in front of him. He felt himself blush a bit, but pretended it was on purpose as he gripped Keith’s hand and dropped it onto his forehead. “I didn’t say to stop.”

A small smile came to match Lance’s own, and maybe even a small blush too as deft fingers stroked through Lance’s, albeit kind of grossly sweaty, hair. “You know, of all people I wasn’t expecting it to be you in the simulation room to get rid of frustration. You seemed pretty upset.” Keith looked away, “do you maybe wanna… talk about it?”

Lance shoved down the first words  of ‘hell no’ that tried to burst through his mouth, maybe it would be healthier just to talk about it. Besides, Keith said he would always catch him. Maybe he meant emotionally too? “Yeah… actually, I would, if you’re okay with it?”

Keith looks away toward something in the room, giving Lance a rather unflattering view of his chin, and yet, somehow Lance still finds it beautiful. Eyes going wide, Lance shoves that thought far away as Keith nods, his voice rumbling out an affirmative hum.

Lance let his vision fade out and go blurry as he cast his gaze past Keith to the impossibly high ceiling above. “I can’t save them, Keith.”

“Them?”

Some of the frustration crawls its way back, but it’s chased off by fingernails scratching gently at his scalp. “The civilians. Every time I try I can’t get them all off the planet in that _stupid_ simulation. If I save the people, the kid dies. If I save the kid, the people die. It’s giving me nightmares, Keith.”

The nightmares were the worst part too. Again, and again he would work through the simulation, and every time the bodies turned into his friends, his family, but the most recent one was the worst. The civilians were in the lions, and just on cue the child began to cry as he fell. Lance had felt so confident that he would get there in time, and he had, throwing himself in front of the blast that would have killed the kid.

It went right through him. The laser had gone right through his chest and into the kid, but the kid wasn’t an alien anymore, it was his little brother’s head that had a hole punched through it, bleeding down Lance’s chest. Lance had woken screaming that night.

A shudder passed down his spine, and Lance sat up slowly, Keith’s hand falling from his head and he moved to sit shoulder to shoulder.

“Hey, Lance.”

“Hmm?”

Keith nudged him, and Lance turned to look Keith in the eyes, a little taken back by how… honest he looked. “I’m not going to lie to you because I think that would only make things worse. But also, if this comes out horrible please don’t hate me.”

Lance chuckled, “I’m not gonna hate you, promise.”

Keith took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be able to beat the simulation.”

“W-what?”

“Coran told me it was supposed to help train you for different situations and to desensitize you to certain things, right? I think it’s supposed to like, a Kobayashi Maru, unbeatable. It’s a test, to make you try your hardest, but also to help you learn that you _can’t_ always save everyone, and to teach you how to prioritize the many over those lost few.”

“Did you just make a Star Trek reference?”

Keith’s looked like he was in disbelief. “Was that all you got out of that, Lance? Were you even listening?”

Lance laughed as he stood up, holding out a hand to help Keith stand. “I was, really. It just caught me off guard. I thought you didn’t get references.”

Keith took the offered appendage and let himself be pulled up. “Okay, just, wanted to make sure. You really are okay, right?”

Lance smiled. “Yeah, I am.” He really felt like he was, too. “And uh, Keith?” Lance lunged forward, hugging Keith around his neck for a quick moment before backing away. “Thanks.”

As he walked out of the room, Lance could have sworn he heard a small, “no problem,” squeak out from behind him. Saving the universe didn’t mean being perfect. He was gonna do the damn best he could though, and not surprisingly, he didn’t have a nightmare that night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, like, SO MUCH for sticking with me on this work. I know it has been WAY TOO LONG since I've updated but life has really gotten in the way of my inspiration. I'm so glad to be back and working, so feel free to come say hi! @im-awkward-but-social on tumblr

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! Thanks for sticking with me through another story. If you want to chat feel free to visit me at my tumblr @im-awkward-but-social


End file.
